Saying goodbye to the Kitty monster.

Happy Wednesday, Everyone!

Well, my show, "Big Gay North Hollywood Wedding," finally posted its closing date, March 21st. We ran about six months, a respectable run by all means. Its been quite a ride. I used to joke, with the screenplay I wrote, that I couldn't find a decent role so I had to write one for myself. Then came good ol' Kitty Di Martino. The creator of the show wanted her to be a mousy little virgin who'd never had a date and was taken in by the hot Brazilian usher. Plenty of those in fat girl roles, I thought, and suggested perhaps instead we make her this huge man-eating tart instead. Suggestion accepted and thus began the Kitty monster, a loud, slutty (pardon my language) beautician from Jersey who specialized in waxing (she would wax things most people wouldn't- my own subtle homage to Jane Lynch in A Mighty Wind). Kitty is one of the best roles I have ever played, and probably will ever play. I grew to semi-rue a few of my choices, more because of my discomfort than them being less than sound creatively. The huge wig of Jersey hair and long nails took getting used to. I don't make a habit of exposing as much of my chest as Kitty does. I'm not a big high heels girl. Hitting on all the guys in the audience meant a lot of rejection and on some nights reminded me of the middle school dances of old. Yes, I know, that was Kitty, not me. Having lived in Kitty's skin for about nine months at this point, some things got under my skin. Probably shouldn't have, but I'm only human.

What's interesting is how much Kitty really rubbed off on me. I won't miss the wig. I do chew my nails less when they're longer, and they're pretty, so they stay. And without elaborating, its been an interesting six months datingwise. Every role I play, its like trying on a dress and seeing if I like how it fits. From there, I learn something about myself, usually about love and what I want from life. Playing my first mom/wife role back in 2008 in The Daddy Machine taught me that as independent as I am, I'll be good at having a family too, and that it appealed to me more than I cared to admit to anyone, even myself. Tried on the dress, said I like it, but not for now, for later. I didn't expect to learn from Kitty at all, let alone as much as I did. I instilled in Kitty my tendency to love fiercely, but she instilled more in me. Kitty, indirectly encouraging me to love unwisely, retaught me to love wisely. In the six month run, I messed with a few actors (onstage, onstage- minds out of the gutter, people) in that show. Dealing with actors who are inordinately rough and actors who are gentle (and those in between), you remember that one Lloyd Dobbler is worth a thousand bad boys (I'm watching Say Anything). You also remember that while a quick and dirty fling with a hot usher is a tremendous amount of fun, that's all it is. Tried on the dress, liked it, but I'm looking for something... sturdier.

I've made some wonderful, wonderful friends, some who I know I'll keep for the rest of my life, and had a tremendous amount of fun. So here's to the Big Gay North Hollywood Wedding and here's to Kitty. We had our ups and downs, but I'm nothing but grateful to have known you.

Popping my blog cherry!

Hello!

I wrote a couple guest blogs for www.fatgirlsguidetoliving.com that were well-received so I am branching out on my own. I'm an actor/writer/producer living in Los Angeles (golly that looks so pretentious written out, haha) who is of the fuller figure. Its an interesting experience. You look at film and television and the lack thereof of chubby girls onscreen (although the tide is turning, yay!) and figure its a hard row to hoe. But you know, in this business its just another thing you're judged on. Its unfortunate that right now the trend is to populate the screen with walking swizzle sticks, but there you go. The double standard is really what riles me. Once upon a time I fantasized about headlining a reverse King of Queens type sitcom with Chris Pine playing my ridiculously gorgeous husband (and no one would say a word about the difference in attractiveness levels). However, Star Trek scuttled that idea. Oh, well...

With a partner, I wrote a screenplay. The heroine? A chubby girl. I would like to think I wrote myself a great role, but my partner and I also wanted to write her a happy ending (mine, as Natasha Beddingfield sang, is still unwritten). That's not all, though- we also wrote about blending families, single parenting, living with mental illness- its a comedy. My friend Kevin and I formed a production company and we're making this sucker. We're so proud of the story, and we have a wonderful director and DP who are just as invested in making a great film out of this. I love having an all male production team- we're going to be a chick flick with some serious balls.

Well, that's me- I hope things are well with you as you read this.